# https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wYA28LcM-9c What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese! What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter? An irrelephant! Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired! Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere! How many apples grow on trees? All of them! Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged! Why can't you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom? Because the P is silent! Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock knock joke? He won the no bell prize! I used to hate facial hair... ...but then it grew on me! I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner... ...because it was just gathering dust! What's brown and sticky? A stick! What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk! Can February March? No, but April May! Wanna hear a joke about paper? I'm afraid the joke is tearable! I could tell a joke about pizza as well... ...but it's a little cheesy! What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows! This graveyard looks overcrowded, don't you think? People must be dying to get in! So what do you call a fish with two knees? A twokneefish! I bought some shoes from a drug dealer... ...I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day! I thought about going on an all-almond diet... ...but that's just nuts! Did you know french fries weren't actually cooked in France? They were cooked in grease! Did you hear about the chameleon who couldn't change color? He had reptile dysfunction! What happens when you go to the bathroom in France? European! Why did the old man fall in the well? Because he couldn't see that well! Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well I'm not going to spread it! Why is Charlie never allowed to own a horse? Because then she'd have a Charlie Horse! A furniture store won't stop calling me... ...even though I only wanted a one nightstand! Did you know donations to atheism are tax-deductible? It's a non-prophet organization! # https://youtu.be/aqx8Bcx15Tc?t=450 Why can't a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot! # https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_laNTzQDiq0 How does a penguin build their house? Igloos it together! # https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tjdxrAbeXq0 What rock group has four men that don't sing? Mt. Rushmore! What concert costs just 45 cents to attend? Fifty cent featuring Nickleback! Did you hear about the guy who invented Life Savers? They say he made a mint! I heard a cheese factory exploded in France the other day... ...debris is everywhere! What do you call a factory that sells passable products? A satisfactory! I thought about starting a dating service in Prague. I'd call it Czech Mate! I remember the garden I had growing up... ...those were good thymes!